Questions I get asked a lot (or more than once)

Why did you write the book?
I had written my first novel,  which took me six years to finish, required that I
live on a small roach-infested island for research, took up every inch of my
head and heart for six years, and when it was finally finished, the damn
thing never sold. It took me a year and a half to realize it wasn't going to
sell. My mother called it, "slow dance on the slaughtering field." It was. I
was crushed and confused. SIX YEARS of my life was gone.

I had given up everything to follow my dreams, just like they tell you to do,
and instead of becoming a success, I was just a failure. Thats not how it's
supposed to work. It's supposed to be that if you really dedicate yourself to
something, it will all work out in the end.  Thats how the stories go. Person
has dream, person drops everything to chase dream, fast forward to the
shining end. They never show the grueling tar pits in between scenes.

How did you write the book?
After I got all depressed, I got angry. I thought, "So thats it? This is how my
life goes? Where did I go wrong?" and I literally, like a life autopsy, went
back and tried to figure out where the train of my life came off the tracks.
Should I have majored in science in school? Should I have married that
guy? Should I have stayed in Europe? And I started mapping it all out on a
big piece of linoleum. See it here!

Finally a good use for linoleum! I got this scrap piece from the attic, it was
big - like 10' by 10', and I started writing on it with a permanent marker. I
drew out what looked like a family tree - only it was a tree of accidents and
possibilities. Of all the mistakes and the alternatives in my life.  From the
last day of high school forward I wrote down what I did and what I could
have done, and so on and so on. It was exhausting but exhilarating. (I still
have it – and it looks like a crazy person attempted calculus.)

Then I moved to the computer and created the skeleton of the book.
Section 1 would lead to sections 2 and 3. Section 3 would lead to sections
4 and 5 and so on and so on. It was tedious and I made lots of mistakes - I
am utterly useless at math.

Next I tried to write each of these individual threads to their conclusion, but
that didn’t always work. Sometimes I would have to work on threads
simultaneously or drop a thread and go fix something else. Imagine trying
to knit 150 sweaters at once! It was messy. I tried to keep  track of all the
threads in large spiral notebooks, I had thirty-two completely filled by the
end of the book.   

Are the stories true?
Absolutely. Every word of them. Well, OK, I think they could have been
true. I was tracking down every road I'd not travelled. So lets say there was
some guy I thought I should have married long ago, I did the "math" so to
speak. I wrote,  "OK, if I married Dan, I would be living in some drywall
mausoleum McMansion on a golf course...and I'd probably be an
alcoholic...and lets be honest, eventually he'd start shoving me around and
then I'd have to murder him." It was like tracking down demons and nailing
their feet to the floor. After every "thread" I'd feel really satisfied, even
though it was fiction, I felt like I'd solved a puzzle, like, "OK! It's good I didn't
marry Dan! I'd be in San Quentin!"

How many endings are there?
I have no idea. I just wrote and wrote, and there are all these permutations
of different story threads that sew over each other and crash headlong
together...HarperCollins says there's over 150, so I'll go with that. But if
anyone out there knows how to "do math," and can tell me exactly how
many possible variables  there are - I'd shore heck appreciate it.

What's your favorite thread?
This is a hard one. I always like the darker ones. In fact my friends had to
encourage me to put more "good" endings in.  My friend Tim pointed out
at one point the fact that I had killed most of the children. So I had to go
back and unkill them, and write about happy motherhood, which
CERTAINLY EXISTS (Dear God the letters I get...).

So... I like the ones that end in Iceland,  when you become a witch. I also
like when you become an evil chocolate maker and when you join a sex
cult. I still laugh when I read the "become a waitress at Denny's" ending...
and of course the monkey sex scene.


Where did the graphic monkey sex scene come from?
I have this fondness/phobia of monkeys.  Plus I like to make my friend
Thompat Beene laugh, and this was what I had to do to accomplish that.

So...you don't believe in destiny?
I used to believe exclusively in destiny. It's easier that way. No
responsibility. Now I think we create our destiny with the choices we
make.  Destiny is more like rungs on a ladder. Like there might be specific
things you're going to do or people you're going to meet no matter what -
but in between there's all this unwritten space where it's completely up to
us what happens. Completely.

Some much smarter people than me have deep thoughts on the subject,
such as the ancient Stoics.  Epicurus and Zeno for example. They believed
(ok here comes a generalization...) that all of life was predetermined. It
doesn't matter what you do - you're going to end up where destiny says.
So, what does that mean we're all just lousy actors playing out some pre-
written cosmic script? That can't be right.

Even Shakespeare wrote: "There is a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-
hew them how we will." But what if the scarier thought is true? That the
universe is governed by random law and that every action we make brings
its absolute appropriate reaction. Ouch.

But then when you take hold of that and stop making really stupid
desicions..suddenly your life gets better and you know where your car keys
are. Just try it.

Whats your beef with Jane Austen?
None. I'm sure she was a lovely woman and there weren't a whole lot of
ways to pay the rent back then. Here's the deal. When we were shopping
my book, more than one publisher asked me if I could "clean it up a little." If
I could make it more for a good girl. "More Jane Austen-y." This
description came up more than once. "Jane Austen-y"  

I told them,"I don't know what you think real women's lives are like - If you
think we just have pillow fights and trade lingerie or whatever, but thats not
how it actually goes. It's not, "do you want the puppy or do you want the
kitten?" It's more like, "what do you have to do to survive?" I told them if
they wanted some syrup sweet  to go call Jane Austen. (Sorry Jane, it's
really not about  you. It's about people wanting to sugar coat things. It's
bullshit and it wastes time. We'll talk about it on the other side. I'll bring the
wine.)


Is the book inspired by the children's series?
I think I read every single Choose Your Own Ending book when I was little.  
I was one of those shy kids who preferred reading to playing or watching
TV. I never seemed to have enough books, so I always re-read them, and
to have one where the ending was different every time was marvelous. No
adults telling you what to do! You got to decide where to go.

Pretty Little Mistakes was definitely inspired by the series…but I wanted to
use adult themes and adventures. After all, as grown ups our lives are
“Choose Your On Ending” more than ever. When you’re little, adults
choose things for you, but as a “big person” you have the tedious and
often terrifying task of making decisions for yourself – and lots of times you
think maybe you made the wrong choice, but you can’t go back and do it
over. In Pretty Little Mistakes – you can.

Do you see this becoming a new sort of genre?
It is for me. In 2008 I  have another “Choose Your Own Ending” book
scheduled to come out with HarperCollins called, “Million Little Mistakes.”
You win the lottery and have to decide what to do with your money…and
then I have an idea for two more multiple ending books after that and
then…well lets just say it’s going to take me awhile to get this out of my
system.

Who, or what, are your literary influences?
So many people!  Just to name a few, for their ferociously funny insight, I
love David Sedaris and Ira Glass. For his oddball sense of humor, George
Saunders.  For her delightful naughtiness, Candace Bushnell and for her
guts, Susan B. Anthony, who wrote some killer speeches in her day about
women’s rights and speaking up for yourself.

Has your life changed much since you signed a book
deal?

Yes. It's like this.
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Heather
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